Day 13: DELIVERED
“The Happiest She’s Been in 45 Years”
A poem born in the work of deliverance God is doing in my relationship with my mother.
(Click here to view “The Happiest She’s Been in 45 Years” directly via YouTube.)
She was happy
once upon a time
long
long
ago.
Then,
all changed.
She birthed a baby girl.
She moved 3,000 miles
to an unknown land:
California,
where women wore white
after Labor Day.
And she tried.
Oh,
how hard
she tried
to make everything
just right
so I could be happy.
I didn’t care
about leveling off the measuring cup with the back of the knife
whether the salad fork went on the left or the right
if dinner was served precisely at 6:00 PM.
I just wanted her to be happy.
So I learned
the importance of measuring (and doing my math homework) perfectly.
where the salad fork always goes.
to be on time is to be late; to be early is to be on time.
I was
miserable
so that
she would be happy.
But
neither
she
nor
I
ever
were.
Now they comfort each other
saying,
“She’s the happiest she’s been in
45 years.”
But this is small comfort
for the baby girl
born
45 years
ago.
I know
her happiness
was left behind
in the move.
But I also know
she waited and prayed
for so long
for a daughter
a daughter
who failed
for 40 years to do
what Alzhiemers
has done
in less
than
5.
She is happy
once again,
now that
all is changed.
Her memories
of the past
45 years
are lost
and gone
forever.
She no longer knows
the name
she gave the daughter
she waited and prayed for
45 years
ago.
She is happy
now that she does not know
who I am
or how to follow her own recipes.
or where the salad fork goes
or that she should eat dinner tonight.
And so I move
far more than 3,000 miles away
to an unknown land:
Hope,
where memories
and measuring cups
and forks
and dinner times
are left behind,
where
we can be
at peace
together,
where (at long last)
we can both be
the happiest we’ve been in
45 years.
(Click here to download Psalm 34:4-5)
Try this today:
Ask God to reveal a fear (an anxiety, an expectation, a disappointment, a grudge, a complaint – same difference!) that’s bound you to shame (or pride). In pencil, write it on a 3×5 card. Then with a black marker, write Psalm 34:4-5 over the fear. Draw a big “up” arrow as a reminder to look to Him. Post it where you’ll see it regularly!
Leave a comment!
- responding to today’s blog, and/or
- sharing your Day #1-13 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
- anything else on your heart!
Cheri… this is absolutely beautiful! But I also feel the pain in the words…My mother is in a rest home now with this horrible disease… I visit, but she doesn’t know me… she doesn’t know my children and they don’t understand. Sometimes I don’t understand….
Cheri, thank you for this powerful poem/video. Really puts it all in perspective.
Oh Cheri! This brought me to tears!!!! Praying for your heart and for peace .
Dear sweet sister, as I listen to your video my heart hurt for years of waste. What a lesson you have taught today. I pray that God will restore joy, giving you the oil of joy for mourning and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. I pray for total healing for your heart. Heavenly Father, please bless my dear sister and draw her close in Your love. May the rest of her day bring her peace and comfort in her spirit. In Jesus name I ask, amen.
Blessings,
Barbara P. OBS small group leader
“The Happiest She’s Been in 45 Years
Wow. Very powerful. Praying for you Cheri. Can’t wait to try today’s task as well as share it. May God bless you abundantly!!
Oh Cheri! I pray you have peace and joy! Thank you for sharing your heart. I am in tears. She certainly gave birth to a beautiful daughter!
Love and Prayers,
Beth A.
Wow. Very powerful. Really brings things into perspective.
I loved the video. It really brings the words in the poem to life! 🙂
Beautiful! I am new to your blog, but have enjoyed all the posts the past couple of weeks. I love to blog which acutally took the place of my journal, but I think when you write in a journal it becomes more personal. Thanks for sharing with us.
I have several things that could be categorized within the “fear” category, frustration, unrealistic expectations, abandonment, abuse…… but through it all He has already overcome – He has freed me – I do NOT hang my head in shame! Thank you Almighty Father!
Would so love to win this book! Have 2 daughters, and want to let them know some things about me and their Dad they might not know….
Thanks so much for the blogs, they are so good.
Linda Berry
Losing my memory is a big fear of mine because I am 35 and have had scares all ready with this( 3 months last year). Mine were triggered by stress that brought on symptoms that seemed like a stroke. I studdered all of the sudden when talking. I could not even have a conversation without forgetting what I was talking about 10 minutes in and when others were talking I was sitting there staring at them, trying to remember what we were talking about. Doctor just told me to write things down. I still have some problems today.My three children 16, 11 and 9 had to work with me to get passed it. I have to watch my stress or it starts to shut down my brain. I do not remember some of the past anymore which is scarey but I think GOD was just helping me erase somethings so I could move on or that is the way I choose to look at it.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what kind of legacy I will leave behind for my children when He takes me home. The book looks like it would be a wonderful way to think through it. Alzhiemers is a fear of mine. I’ve been watching a couple of ladies that I love going through this. It has taken them from us. Though I’m thankful that they do not know what is happening to them any longer, it still hurts to see them this way. They do not know us anymore and it’s especially hard for my children. Thank you for this post.
I am prideful of what I can do and jealous that I can’t do as much as others and I have no desire to be that way anymore!
This whole week I have totally focused on how God would handle situations….
Changes everything…I have also shared what this week has been like for me and learning to truly trust in God for all things plays over and over again in my thoughts…
Staying in his word…He is our everlasting Rock…I am so learning…
The poem is certainly one that is making me think. I love the idea of recording a family history in addition to writing letters to my children.
I am speechless – this is very touching.
I like the activity to try today. This would be good for lots of negative things: write them down in pencil & then write a Bible verse in black & over them to “conquer” them. I’ve also found it helpful to write things down & then to burn the paper while praying for help to get rid of them once & for all.
Beautiful!!
My fear is the lossname of any one ofman my children. If something should happen to any of them, I think I would have a hard time not curling up and dying right along with them. I had a horrible nightmare last night about my baby girl drowning… I WAS excited about taking the girls swimming this summer… I let fear make my decisions for me. I let the “what if”s control my life… Yesterday, I read, “Worry is the misuse of imagination.” That is so true!!! I struggle with worry, but GOD is the only one that can fix it. I pray HE will. Thank you for the wonderful reminder in SCRIPTURE today!
What a great way to look at worry…budget cuts and possible layoffs and the unknown make me worry about Having a job with health benefits for my family. Thanks to you and today’s post I am gaining a new perspective…one that reminds me God KNOWS I don’t need to worry
Heidi J