Day 16: NO RECORD
There are many areas where I need to adjust the desire to feel right. However, there is one that, even after reading today’s post, I am still struggling with.
When people (co-workers, family, etc.) wrong intentionally and repeatedly, it feels impossible to shake the idea that justice should be served to them.
It is maddening that they continue to “get away with” their bad behavior.”
Patti
I’ve been pondering this comment ever since Day 5: RIGHTEOUS.
God does call some to a ministry of justice.
But not me. At least, not yet.
Oh, I like to I tell myself that I have a keen sense of justice.
After all, I’m a grudge-holder. I don’t just remember wrongs: I tell and re-tell my done-me-wrong stories.
Did you know that my Amazon.com password has been I-HATE-AMAZON for the last two years because… (Oops! If I tell you, I’ll have to switch my bracelet!)
Seriously. Do I sound like a safe person for God to send on justice missions?
Hardly. I have a few other things to work on, first.
Starting with…
My Urge to Replace God
It’s the early 80s. I’m a teenager. I hate being told what to do. I want to do my things, in my way, on my time. (Not much has changed in twenty-five years…!)
It’s family worship time, and I feel persecuted. Imposed upon. I don’t want to be here.
Family rituals are sooo stoooopid.
My father, attempting to draw me in to the family, invites me to read the evening scripture.
I don’t want to read. I alreaady know everything in there.
I take the Bible and begin to mechanically read aloud. My mind still stews over the injustice of the situation.
I shouldn’t have to be here. I’m old enough to make my own choices. I . . . I . . . I . . .
I suddenly realize the room is deathly silent. And everyone is staring at me. Uh-oh. Something’s not right.
I do a quick mental rewind and replay of what I’ve just spoken. The results are so astonishing, I blurt out,
“What did I just say?”
My father — with amazing vocal and facial restraint — recites back my last words.
What I should have read?
“…as God commanded…”
But instead of reading the word “God” as clearly spelled out in the text, I’ve substituted a totally different word.
My own name.
What I’ve actually just “read” aloud?
“…as Cheri commanded…”
I’ve unconsciously replaced “God” with myself.
I’d love to say that I’ve made this mistake only once in my life. But truth be told:
I struggle against replacing God with myself every minute of every day of my life.
I have to remind myself multiple times per day that . . .
I AM NOT GOD.
So, what does this mean?
Well, for one thing, it means that I can not create you (and especially not in my own image).
But I love telling other people what to do and how to do it!
Over twenty years ago, when we brought Annemarie home as an infant, Daniel was changing her diaper when I pointed out that he was doing it wrong.
With a meaningful look, he asked me, “So, how much longer have you been a parent than I have?”
Point well made. But did I learn my lesson?
Oh, no, I continue undaunted! The urge to create you in my image is overwhelming. I can be…
- …polite: “Are you sure you want to do it that way…”
- …condescending: “Let me show you how it actually should be done.
- …dismayed: “No, no, no — what on earth are you doing?”
I’m not sure where this impulse to tell other people how to live their lives a better way (MY way!) comes from. When I turn around, I notice (with disappointment) that there is no line of people waiting to learn how to be just like me!
And scripture makes it very clear:
So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them.
Genesis 1:27
Does it say, “And Cheri created mankind in her own image”?
I think not!
I can not create you, especially not in my own image.
I AM NOT GOD.
The flip side is also true, that…
YOU ARE NOT GOD.
So what does this mean?
You can not save me, especially not from my own issues.
For me, it was always a “BFF”: Kimmi in 4th grade. Marcia in 6th grade. Suzie in junior high. Lisa in college.
When I got married, I expected my husband to be the male version of my best girlfriend. When that did not work out as planned, it was Shawna. Then Lori. Then…
What did I need my “best friends” to save me from?
Simple loneliness.
I’ve never liked being alone. I’ve never liked myself by myself. So I’ve used friends to save me from how inadequate I felt when I was alone.
But scripture makes it very clear:
…Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners…
1 Timothy 1:15a
Does this say, “… Kimmi or Suzie or Lori or Daniel came into the world to save Cheri”?
I think not!
You can not save me, especially from my own issues.
YOU ARE NOT GOD.
To Recap…
I AM NOT GOD.YOU ARE NOT GOD.
Which means that…
WE ARE NOT GODS
God is the Creator. No matter how much we want to create each other in our own image, that job is taken.
Jesus Christ is the Savior. No matter how hard we try to get others to save us, that job is taken.
The Holy Spirit. Hey, how about the Holy Spirit? Maybe that job has an opening?
…[the Holy Spirit] will convict the world of sin…
John 16:8
I would LOVE this job!
I would be so good at it! I could so take my English teacher’s red pen to other peoples’ lives and show them the errors of their ways!
But would you believe that despite my awesome skills at recognizing other people’s mistakes, God has not yet even called me in to interview?
He keeps pointing me back to the mirror and my knees.
Does John 16:8 say,“Cheri will convict the world of sin”?
I think not
- We are not here to create each other.
- We are not here to save each other.
- We are not here to condemn each other.
WE ARE NOT GODS
However…
WE ARE GOD’S
And God says that the way people will know that we are His is that we “love one another.” John 13:35
Defining God’s love in action, today’s verse says that
(Can’t see image? Click here to download 1 Corinthians 13:5!)
Granted permission to execute justice, I would be all the things God is not: rude, self-seeking, angry, and grudge-holding.
God needs me to be a representative of His love, not a self-appointed vigilante.
I pray that some day, He can trust me with justice. That instead of feeling eagerness to give others what they’ve got coming to them, my heart will break along with His.
When I no longer demand justice, I may be safe to trust with it.
Until then, I’m going to keep working on learning how to love.
Until I love others as He loves me.
After all: WE ARE GOD’S.
Try this today:
Listen for specific complaint, criticism, gossip, and/or sarcastic comment surrounding something that you’ve been “keeping record of” for a while. Have a heart-to-heart with God about this incident or issue or individual. Take the step He asks you to take.
Leave a comment!
- responding to today’s blog, and/or
- sharing your Day #1-16 experience of replacing “baditude” with God’s word and gratitude, and/or
- about anything else on your heart!
Life is a journey and lately I have been able to give a lot to God! Perfect give away! Cooking supper can cause issues 🙂
I struggle with both correcting others and holding on to hurts. Thanks for letting me know I’m not alone, and encouraging me to sacrifice the me-god to THE God.
Ouch! I am guilty of telling certain people the ‘right way’ to do things – countless times with the dishwasher…
I can also relate to the justice issue. I have someone in my life who repeatedly hurts me; badly. I have been guilty of wishing human justice on this person; or maybe a little Old Testament justice. I struggle with this one.
When I take the time to read thru the entire post, I find myself thoroughly chastised and in need of a serious attitude adjustment! This series is uncovering some nasty, deeply rooted sins in my life. Painful. Challenging. Healing.
The giveaway seems pretty amazing. Thanks for doing all of this!
Thanks for reminding me that God keeps no record of my confessed sin. And that He throws it in the sea of forgetfulness. I must tell Him all of my issues of trying to control someone else. Thanks for offering this book giveaway. I really need help with this… I cook daily! #mrsvictory
Wow! After reading what you had written today, I realized that in ways I am so much like you. This challenge has opened my eyes. Thank you!
I have been struggling with getting rid of old grudges…
and I am asking God to help me do that ….and tomorrow is the day…
I know its said be careful what you ask for but God help me to come face to face with the person who has wronged me….and ask forgiveness for my behavior in not speaking to this person….
Im sure this individual isnt aware of how I feel that I need to apologize and to be honest I really dont know this person but I need to get rid of these feelings and make things right….Baditude adjustment…its working Cheri!!
Ouchity ouch ouch. I don’t like it. Not because it’s not true or wise, but because it hurt. It hurts to deny that strong justice-centered part of me that I’ve taken such pride in all of these years. Ugh.
“When I no longer demand justice, I may be safe to trust with it.”
This stopped me in my tracks. What I’ve failed to reconcile is that while wanting justice is not bad in and of itself, what I had been doing is demanding it. I KNOW what the right consequence is for you, what should befall you, that you should pay for your wrong-doing. And I’m going to be mad until that happens. But that wasn’t God’s plan or reaction.
“And God says that the way people will know that we are His is that we “love one another.” John 13:35”
I’ve always known this, but I don’t know why I thought it should stop with loving non-Christians. A lot of my issues are with people around me that I don’t think have the same beliefs as I do or – at least – I don’t know them well enough to know that and certainly can’t tell by their actions. But what are my actions telling them? I also have long preached that you can’t expect Christians to act like non-Christians. And yet, there I was…le sigh.
I’m so glad that He is God! I’m not one that likes confrontation and I feel like my biggest complaint or grudge is with my mom. She has always tried to control me and I won’t let her anymore. She doesn’t like it. I’ve withdrawn from her to protect myself and my daughters. I have forgiven her but I’m struggling with letting go and letting God take care of her. I know that with Him she can change and not be so hurtful. Praise God for His forgiveness, mercy, and grace!!
This whole post it’s like you were talking about me!!! Seeking in others instead of God, it has been my whole life, wanting to shift it as I learn his word, fills me more than ever before. And as I learn not to demand justice but LOVE, makes me want to dig deeper on God’s word.
I love this! It is a great encouragement! And I love to cook, so I would love to get this book!
Awesome post! I love the We Are God’s…without the apostrophe it would be something much different so you have to think about it! 🙂
This is a toughie for me. I always want to “fix” my young kids when they have a bad attitude!
Great giveaway! I’m always making dinner at the last minute.
This was so wonderful! I am amazed how many things are resonating in me as I read the blog every day! This one particularly because although I know I’ve not been given the right to “serve justice” to others, I have such a need to see justice served. It is something I’ve struggled with for the past several years and started noticing in my oldest son (who is 8). He wants everything to be just right and everything to go exactly the way he thinks it should…he is just like me. My heart’s desire is to learn from these things now so I can be a good example to my children so they are not almost 40 years old trying to figure it out! I am so thankful for this challenge…it has been life changing!
I need to work on being less critical of others and the way they do things (not my way).
What a relief it is to know God is the one to judge and convict. Just stepping back a little and letting God do his work gives us so many more opportunities to love. Love it!
Natalie
I’ve been a “fixer” and a “controller” for most of my life. I just didn’t know how to “let go & let God” take care of things or really how to listen to Him. I’ve been doing a lot better in the last few years. Today’s verse from I Corinthians 13 & Galatians 5:22 (“Fruits of the Spirit”) help me.
I am working on being a good listener, not imparting my “wisdom” but I need a lot of reminders. The bracelet is a good reminder for that too!
I’m a “fixer” – always want it done my way…loving this challenge it’s keeping me aware of the words I’m saying
Heidi J
Well shucks, when you put it that way…… 😛
I’m so glad that His love is perfect and that He doesn’t expect us to be in charge of the injustices of this world!
Help me to remember that YOU are in control and that I need to let you do your job and not step in your way that way that I…I…I would ultimately mess it up totally!!!
I’m a fixer. always have been but spouting off my opinions is annoying, not helpful. I have been asked more than one if I have to say every critical thing that I think… the worst part is that i DONT. I keep plenty of ugly thoughts to myself. oy vey. What is it that I think I can accomplish that God cannot?
I will always hear that recap in my head now
” I am not God
you are not God
we are not Gods”
Thanks Cheri!!
*Hell*, not “He’ll”. Lol… autocorrect… :-\
Reminds me of, “If GOD can forgive, who am I to hold a grudge?!” After all, even the smallest, simplest sin (not that there is such a thing since all sin is equally bad worthy of He’ll) sent CHRIST willingly to the cross to save me from He’ll!!!